"Tax Payers shouldn't be forced to pay for things they find morally disagreeable"

This is the stupidest line I've heard by far about people who don't agree with abortion. Abortion is the women's choice and shouldn't and won't be forced to do anything she doesn't want to unless abortion becomes illegal but fortunately that won't be happening anytime soon.

There are so many thing that we as tax payers pay for that we don't want to abortion being included. However I have no problem with helping fund things that need help being funded whether it’s to fix roads, helping donate money to charities, helping a homeless person on the street, abortions for mothers who can't afford it and would definitely be much worse off with a mother who is not right in the head, can't afford the child, or lives in an unfit environment for a child.

It's completely unfair for a child to have to suffer just because of the parents that had them. Parents can't and don't always make the best decisions but having an abortion when you know you're not ready is one of those cases that women have to use their best judgement.

The tax payers that are complaining about the money being "wasted" are the same payers that will complain about having to help fund welfare programs; child assistance, food assistance, housing, and many other resources that don't just get help from thin air. Our country should be working towards bettering themselves and helping others to better themselves. The more people we have on the streets or kids in foster care the more money that has to be circulated to be spread around to help fund. If we help before the problems get worse or out of hand then we will have less things to deal with.

Abortion will never become illegal in this country simply because the amount of people there are, the amount of people that get pregnant and the amount of people that need help later on down the line are extremely high. If you try to contain and balance of the people that are wanting to get abortions then you will benefit later on.

It's reoccurring circle that has to be kept around as a safety net for this country. It's horrifying but it has to be an option so that we don't get ourselves more in debt than we already are and don't have people making bad decisions for children they can't take care of or decisions for themselves knowing the main person who will suffer is the child.

It's never fun to have to pay for someone else’s mistakes; as a parent I can relate. It's never fun to have to pick up the slack of someone else who keeps making the same mistake that knows they’re supposed to be doing better. It's never fun to have to baby someone because they want to be irresponsible. So the solution is to continue to help with paying for abortions and other resources that people need help with. Abortion in this country is the worst of our worries especially since the only person that will REALLY be affected is the person that is doing it. The people who are helping fund it are getting their money's worth when they're giving her the option of not bringing another child into the world that the rest of the state or country has to help take care of. It's the harsh reality of this reoccurring circle.

If a women is willing to...

Most people say, "If a women is willing to have sex she's knowingly taking the risk of getting pregnant and should be responsible for actions". I do agree that most women in our country specifically know what they are getting themselves into when they are choosing to have sex with a man whether out of pity, spite, or pure lust and love. Either way most women know the reprecautions of their actions and yet they still take part in the action. Hoping to beat the odds of getting pregnant. I am one of those women and still am currently  one of these women. I do have a child that is one years old and her father and I dont' always take the right steps to avoid another pregnancy. However when makin rash decisions or even conscouis ones no one thinks of the bad consequences we just do what we feel is fine for the moment and then deal with the rest later on when it comes back to bite us.

In this case I think women including myself should take better care of our bodies and make wiser decisions. Setting examples for our children as well as making sure the bad decisions don't hurt us in the long run.

Our health is more important than an hour or a few minutes of pleasure from our partner. We should treat our bodies as temples and take better care of ourselves. Things such as going to the doctors when things don't feel right, keeping up with our hygiene, making sure we take regular trips to the doctors that way when things don't go right were not stuck with not knowing what to do and then the problem worsens.

Contraception isn't fun because "it takes away the feeling", "it doesn't feel the same". Well neither does having to deal with the stress of having multiple kids back to back and having to provide for them. Or the womens health being affected because she didn't wait her full 6 weeks and got pregnant again before she was completely internally healed. Which in fact women are not completely healed after 6 weeks its just okay for women to participate in certain activities such as sex around that time.

Women should be responsible for their actions correct, however abortions are not only costly but they're unsafe as well. But raising a child when one is not ready isn't safe or responsible either. So at some point women need to draw the line. Use conception and lessen the chances of getting pregnant once or multiple times or get their tubes tied. Or have sex unprotected and risk getting pregnant and even catching an STD or STI and having to be responsible for another human whether ready at the moment or not; and eventually deciding to have an abortion because they weren't ready,

Abortion can be traumatizing to women and even take a tole on a man's emotions as well. Constantly getting them before you're ready to handle the responsibility hurts your chances of later wanting to have kids and could cause you to become infertile.


Women need to think hard and long before making a choice to have sex with someone who isn't financially stable, responsible and caring as well as thinking about their own situation as well.

Will women die of unsafe abortions if they become illegal?

I've always wondered if women would still attempt to get abortions if they were illegal. If they would still have as much sex as before when abortions were legal or if they would try to follow the law as much as possible and cut down on sex to cause less babies.

Abstinence is the only sure way of never getting pregnant but the amount of virgins or people who have had sex and stopped are quite low. No one wants to give up sex or have less of it. We'd rather deal with the reprecautions or get abortions and give our kids up for adoption instead. It's not to say that those are both bad options but that either one of these methods wouldn't be needed if people cut down on sex.

I don't believe that women would die of unsafe abortions any more than they die now from abortions performed safely by doctors. From prior readings before this blog I read that even though abortions aren't illegal in this country and many other ones that people are still getting abortions done in unsafe ways such as not at an actual office, or by a doctor that is no longer able or aloud to practice. Theirfore people are getting sick, dying or becoming unfertile in order to keep their secrets hidden or keep a few dollars in their pockets.

I'm not saying that I couldnt see myself never getting an abortion but to get an unsafe abortion because they're made illegal and the circumstances were ones that I couldn't handle than I too would be one of the women getting an unsafe abortion and hoping things turn out ok in the long run.

Not all abortions show side affects or cause immediate deaths. Their may be a case where a woman has an abortion and then misses her check up appointment or gets a "back alley" abortion and then never finds out that she has some parts of her baby still left inside her. Things like left over body parts, abortions done the wrong way, procedures done at an inappropriate time such as when the mother is too far along can cause death of the mother or very serious injury later causing the mother to become infertile or other serious health issues.

Being in this age I can appreciate procedures such as abortion regardless if I would or wouldn't get one. It gives women another option to a sad sorry or a situation that wasn't planned. Its also a good idea simply because some mothers aren't ready to become mothers. Women forced to become mothers can be both positive and negative. Positive because mothers like myself were motivated even more to get and keep my life in order and make sure that myself and my family eventually have a secure future. The negative point of view tends to be that mothers who aren't ready abuse their kids emotionally and physically, become depressed, make decisions for their kids that aren't appropriate, make decisions around their kids that can affect them, and even create an environment for a child to feel unloved and unwanted just because they were born into the wrong family.

Keeping abortions legal is a good thing for most women, will women die of unsafe abortions if they become illegal? Yes quite a few

Could you? [could you, be one of those women who would still get the procedure if need be if it was illegal]

Is it "just a fetus" or is it a baby?

There is constant talk about after someone is said to be pregnant if they're carrying a "fetus" first then a "baby" or has it always been a "baby" and people are just making excuses to deem abortion as a wrong doing. Although I am Pro-Choice and I believe all women should have the choice to keep their baby, abort it or give it up for adoption, I strongly believe that from the moment the doctor or the accurate home pregnancy test says you're pregnant that you actually are pregnant with a "baby". People refer to it scientifically as a fetus but the moment that I found out I was pregnant I didn't go around all excited saying I was having a fetus.

 

I was instantly attached to my daughter and given time her father was as well. People seem to think that calling it a fetus lightens the fact that abortion is abortion and if you choose to have one it's still killing another human being even if it's unable to do all the things a newborn baby or a kicking baby in the womb does. I'm not saying the abortion is wrong because again I'm Pro-choice I'm just not siding with the people that say that it's just a fetus why should I feel bad about getting an abortion.

 

It's not about feeling bad. It's completely the women's choice whether she decides to keep her child or not however getting an abortion comes with some much baggage. From health issues to a heavy conscience. I know many people that have had them-even multiple and I don't talk down on them because they've had one I just correct their thinking when they try to use the excuse of "it's just a fetus".

 

The feeling that I felt being at the doctor seeing my little peanut of a baby on the ultrasound was unforgettable. I’ve never been more attached to a person in my life. To think that I created someone else and that they would love me unconditionally-possibly until teenage years. Then to hear someone to refer to their baby as just a fetus is hurtful. It's as if they think calling it that means it’s close to nothing so they have right to do whatever they want to their child.

 

If you're going to get an abortion I'm fine with that It's the woman’s choice but for you to dibble and dabble in to drugs and drinking and not know for sure that you're having an abortion or even attempt to hurt yourself in hopes of ending the pregnancy has to be one of the most hurtful things a mother could do. Getting an abortion is a medical procedure that can go wrong but in most cases is carefully done by a licensed doctor so for someone to take it upon themselves and hurt THEIR fetus it is not ok and never justifiable. Get the abortion procedure or pill and leave it at that. Trying to end the pregnancy on your own can hurt you and the baby. By doing so as a mother I know I could never forgive myself if I was to harm my baby while pregnant and then a doctor tells me it's unsafe for me to have an abortion and I have to go through the whole pregnancy with the guilt of hurting my own child. In a nut shell....do what's right for YOU, the right way!

Adoption

After having my daughter and being pro-choice I don't know if I could ever be a mother who would choose adoption as a choice instead of keeping their child or getting an abortion. This is not to say that abortion is a horrible thing or having a child at a time that isn't idle is the best choice either. After having my daughter and being attached to her for 10 months and doing all the cute traditional things like a shower and gender reveal it would be extremely hard for me to just let my child go. Things haven't been the easiest for me but I have managed to get through it.

I often imagine what it could feel like as a mother to give her child up or as the child feeling as if something was wrong with them or that parent didn't love them. I met my boyfriend of 2.5 years ago and within the first week of me knowing him he broke down and read a letter than his adoptive dad wrote to me telling me he was adopted. As my boyfriend read the letter to me I could feel the pain that it caused my boyfriend even if he acted as if it didn't bother him on a normal day. But this day was different than most, this day he felt vulnerable and deceived. Not only by his birth parents but also by his adoptive parents-being that it took them years to tell him that he was adopted. Other than when our daughter was born that was the only time I've ever seen my boyfriend cry. I was heartbroken I didn't know what to say or how to feel for the first 2 minutes of silence following after he read the letter. With a lump in my throat I expressed to him that it wasn't his fault and that people make decisions that they regret and decisions that have to be made in order to make things better for themselves no matter how selfish and hurtful it could be.

I've learned in time that adoption isn't an easy topic to talk about let a lone write about simply because everything is cut simple and dry and all put down on documents and either money is exchanged or not.

As a mother of a one year old I think of all the possibilities and outcomes that could have taken place when I was pregnant, before I got pregnant and after I had Riley. If anything happened and my boyfriend had to choose between us two who would he choose, if things get rough are we going to have to give her up for adoption and who would get her if we did?

I've tried my hardest to try to relate to parents that have given up their children or try to reason with the excuses as to why they gave them up but everything in me says that I don't see how anyone could give up their flesh and blood unless they were traumatized sexual or anything to that affect. Adoption is a choice, a choice to put someone before yourself, a choice to be able to say to yourself can you handle what's going to come with parenting. Being pro-choice I feel that everyone has the choice to be able to with their kids or give their child to someone who can take care of them.

Being Victimized - A circumstance that is sometimes unavoidable

As a woman I could never imagine being a victim of rape or molestation growing up let alone being a victim of rape and becoming pregnant by the man who took advantage of me. I often wonder what goes through the minds of men who think it's ever okay to do such a thing or the minds of the women being victimized; from the moment where they
were abducted or put in an unsafe scenario to the sexual act being forced upon them.

Rape tends to be the butt of a lot of social media jokes, movies, and TV shows such as South Park. To me next to slavery rape is the least funny subject of all. I've known people who have been raped or molested and it is never an easy thing to cope with.




The first few things that most people questioning the victim think to say are "What were you doing when this happened", "What were you wearing" and worst of all "What did YOU do to make this individual want to attack" all being very inappropriate and harsh questions.
How can someone ask you what made someone else's sick mind want to do something so hurtful to another instead of asking "Are you okay?" "What can we do to help you cope with this situation?" To think that it's ever and woman or man's fault that they were victimized is ridiculous. Their are cases where women tend to take advantage of the situation and think its okay to put someone else's freedom at risk and lie about being raped or molested such as the Bill Cosby cases. In that case their needs to be proof and lots of investigation; simply because many women are seeking money these days. Things such as rape kits are being used to help in investigations however some woman just like in the Bill Cosby case wait so long to say anything that a rape kit can no longer be used.


Being victimized isn't an easy thing to deal with when everyone makes it seem like its your fault, or that woman can prevent such things from happening; yes it's preventable but most cases are woman living their lives and were caught off guard.






In the beginning of my blog I stated that I couldn't imagine myself being a victim of rape or molestation growing up as a young girl, however; now that I have grown up I've taken part in things such as drinking partying going out late night with my friends and spending the night over friends houses. Being at my friends Jasmine's you would think that one would feel safe and at home; until everyone but you leaves the house to go to the store. While you wait on everyone to get back as you sit on the couch watching TV you hear a buzz at the door; the main apartment door where everyone has to be let in or use a key to get in. That day I heard a few knocks and two buzzes so I looked out the window and unfortunately couldn't see much other than someone wearing what looked like a wind breaker jacket extremely cold that day so I let the stranger in the door without thinking. As I opened the door and their was a gust of cold air. The slight grin, gust of cold air, yank of the door after I attempted to slowly open it and snatch of the lower half of my body by this aggressive unknown man ...and what ever innocence I had left had been ripped away in a matter of 10 minutes.


Being victimized wasn't easy to cope with however I have different strategies to cope with what has happened to me in the past and believe that everyday it gets easier for me to deal with personally and talk about.

Becoming pregnant & being pregnant

Anyone who has ever been pregnant before or is pregnant right now can relate when I say that pregnancy definitely has it's ups and downs and although its one of the most beautiful things that changes a woman's life for the better it can also be one of the toughest and most devastating times of her life as well.

I just had my first child at the age of 21 turning 22 and I wouldn't change my experience for the world. I had a horrible pregnancy health wise and as far as the stress and abuse that her father put me through however monthly ultrasounds and tiny movements from my daughter were well worth it. Being pregnant was a joy for me I loved the kicks and movement and memories that I made while pregnant such as having a gender reveal dinner, taking maternity pictures, and having a baby shower for all my family and friends to come to. As I said before I wouldn't trade her for the world and even though I had a horrible pregnancy I all around enjoyed it.

....But the moment I found out that I was pregnant I felt as if my world had ended and that nobody in my family would understand and they would all disown me and talk about me. To my surprise, my family was disappointed at first but later was extremely supportive. From the doctors appointments, to making sure that I had everything I needed for the arrival of my daughter, to keeping me sane throughout my whole pregnancy and giving me the emotional support I desperately needed. When you find out you're pregnant SO many different things run through your head; Am I going to keep my baby? Will I be a good mother? What if me and the father don't work out? What if I mess up? Am I even ready to be a mother? What will people say? What am I going to name my baby?; and the list goes on and on. I was the girl who wanted her baby but had so many doubts and negative thoughts about how I'd be treated, how I'd take care of my child and what if me and my childs father didn't work out. Those different thoughts ran through my head literally my WHOLE pregnancy. 

I do plan on having more than one child, but only when the time is right will I make that decision to have more than one person other than myself that I can be responsible for. For those that have been pregnant can relate to the negativity and positivity that comes with being pregnant either single or in a relationship; either way you're the only one who is pregnant and feel as if you're the only one that understands how you feel being pregnant. Being pregnant was NEVER said to be easy and no one ever said that it wouldn't be painful. Although I am Pro-Choice having my daughter was one of the best decisions I've made in life so far. Riley gives me joy, and happiness any time of the day and when I'm upset or happy I can look to her to make my day so much better.