Becoming pregnant & being pregnant

Anyone who has ever been pregnant before or is pregnant right now can relate when I say that pregnancy definitely has it's ups and downs and although its one of the most beautiful things that changes a woman's life for the better it can also be one of the toughest and most devastating times of her life as well.

I just had my first child at the age of 21 turning 22 and I wouldn't change my experience for the world. I had a horrible pregnancy health wise and as far as the stress and abuse that her father put me through however monthly ultrasounds and tiny movements from my daughter were well worth it. Being pregnant was a joy for me I loved the kicks and movement and memories that I made while pregnant such as having a gender reveal dinner, taking maternity pictures, and having a baby shower for all my family and friends to come to. As I said before I wouldn't trade her for the world and even though I had a horrible pregnancy I all around enjoyed it.

....But the moment I found out that I was pregnant I felt as if my world had ended and that nobody in my family would understand and they would all disown me and talk about me. To my surprise, my family was disappointed at first but later was extremely supportive. From the doctors appointments, to making sure that I had everything I needed for the arrival of my daughter, to keeping me sane throughout my whole pregnancy and giving me the emotional support I desperately needed. When you find out you're pregnant SO many different things run through your head; Am I going to keep my baby? Will I be a good mother? What if me and the father don't work out? What if I mess up? Am I even ready to be a mother? What will people say? What am I going to name my baby?; and the list goes on and on. I was the girl who wanted her baby but had so many doubts and negative thoughts about how I'd be treated, how I'd take care of my child and what if me and my childs father didn't work out. Those different thoughts ran through my head literally my WHOLE pregnancy. 

I do plan on having more than one child, but only when the time is right will I make that decision to have more than one person other than myself that I can be responsible for. For those that have been pregnant can relate to the negativity and positivity that comes with being pregnant either single or in a relationship; either way you're the only one who is pregnant and feel as if you're the only one that understands how you feel being pregnant. Being pregnant was NEVER said to be easy and no one ever said that it wouldn't be painful. Although I am Pro-Choice having my daughter was one of the best decisions I've made in life so far. Riley gives me joy, and happiness any time of the day and when I'm upset or happy I can look to her to make my day so much better.