Adoption

After having my daughter and being pro-choice I don't know if I could ever be a mother who would choose adoption as a choice instead of keeping their child or getting an abortion. This is not to say that abortion is a horrible thing or having a child at a time that isn't idle is the best choice either. After having my daughter and being attached to her for 10 months and doing all the cute traditional things like a shower and gender reveal it would be extremely hard for me to just let my child go. Things haven't been the easiest for me but I have managed to get through it.

I often imagine what it could feel like as a mother to give her child up or as the child feeling as if something was wrong with them or that parent didn't love them. I met my boyfriend of 2.5 years ago and within the first week of me knowing him he broke down and read a letter than his adoptive dad wrote to me telling me he was adopted. As my boyfriend read the letter to me I could feel the pain that it caused my boyfriend even if he acted as if it didn't bother him on a normal day. But this day was different than most, this day he felt vulnerable and deceived. Not only by his birth parents but also by his adoptive parents-being that it took them years to tell him that he was adopted. Other than when our daughter was born that was the only time I've ever seen my boyfriend cry. I was heartbroken I didn't know what to say or how to feel for the first 2 minutes of silence following after he read the letter. With a lump in my throat I expressed to him that it wasn't his fault and that people make decisions that they regret and decisions that have to be made in order to make things better for themselves no matter how selfish and hurtful it could be.

I've learned in time that adoption isn't an easy topic to talk about let a lone write about simply because everything is cut simple and dry and all put down on documents and either money is exchanged or not.

As a mother of a one year old I think of all the possibilities and outcomes that could have taken place when I was pregnant, before I got pregnant and after I had Riley. If anything happened and my boyfriend had to choose between us two who would he choose, if things get rough are we going to have to give her up for adoption and who would get her if we did?

I've tried my hardest to try to relate to parents that have given up their children or try to reason with the excuses as to why they gave them up but everything in me says that I don't see how anyone could give up their flesh and blood unless they were traumatized sexual or anything to that affect. Adoption is a choice, a choice to put someone before yourself, a choice to be able to say to yourself can you handle what's going to come with parenting. Being pro-choice I feel that everyone has the choice to be able to with their kids or give their child to someone who can take care of them.